heaven changing to be hell

pronounce life is simple be understood..
simple..only by a little pressure by the Almighty, is been untrusted, life going to be mess.

unregistered, unrealized, and unnatural..
so much thing is going between my day today and yesterday, its going to be mess and unhappy decision, its going to be sorry, its going to be misunderstood, its going to be bad and its going to be regret someday or MAYBE.

its change, its spinning, and its going to be unthinkin'able..
why must be settle up with this way? its remain me so many words to be explain, and so many eyes through its way.

i thought its going to be better, but the jealousy moment crush it out until its being a pieces on the floor..

come out, come in, why stand outside?hiding?
stand behind me please, hold me tight, hug me, kiss me, let me lay on your side and let me die on your arms..

believe me, no matter what happen today and the next day, i still the same for you, and it will be always..

i love you, i care about you, you spinning in my mind everyday, your name combining my my blood, your face in my eyes, your skin is the smoothest, your chest im dream to be lay about, your side im going to die, you are the one i need for the rest of my life..

painting your name, scratch your dreaming-face in my mind when i woke up, and i miss all those thing everyday and its circle everyday and after.

im only confusing to be here, why its hard to understand?
why changing in present day?
im confusing?


joop_travis
3.45am/28.6.10

best of me

since i've been here, too much stories was listed in my mindbook.
no matter it is sweet or sour, its getting me longer lasting even more that i can imagine.

truthfully, its too hard someday, but if it realize with true color of urself, its made too colorful you even know..

Deep in my heart, i wont tell anybody how many lessons i've been learned, but i just can express all those thing without scratch any fake-smile..its true !!!

its pain in every single on my day, but i got a second meaning time to listed in my true color..

how i manage them'll its the best part of me..

i miss every single day on my old time day when i was awake, the first thing i see is my mom face...
telling me that she love me no matter how bad i'm doing yesterday..

clock beating, fan spinning, freeze flowing, and moon lightning, i'm still me and still gonna be me..

THE BEST OF ME !

its hard to be me...and believe me, its HARD !

berhabok.

selamat petang..

apa aku maw taip ni?
aku baru blk dari maen bola..
penat gak la..tp at least aku ada something utk dibuat.
lately ni, aku moody memanjang..
banyak benda jadik yg d luar kawalan..
agak2nya bole gila jg la kalo xdotangani ataw dikakiki dgn niat yg suci murni bak kata
zaiton, gunakan tanpa was was..~~

life~~
aku baru lps abis during my internship.
sdh seminggu aku d rumah shj.
tidur, lepak, hangout sometimes, tidur, 0nline, poker, bangon, makan, lepak, merokok and its happened every day for a week.
xda agaknya yg baru jadik.

money~~
agak kurang mgu ni.
aku blom kerja jadi xda la duit..lol
harap kakak n simpanan masa2 kecemasan..2 pn cukup buat beli rokok..haha

cinta~~
KRISIS..so nothing penting sgt maw dicerita..
aku sgt stress kali ni..
dia berdiam, dia sgt keras kali ni..
mcm2 aku buat still the same..
sampai satu tahap 2 aku siyesly givup maw mampos..
aku rasa macam maw lari dari sni..
p tmpt yg xda orang taw aku ada d sana..
tp aku xmampu.
kalo la aku mampu, banyak duit, aku maw p paris, xpn p las Vegas..
buat masa ni, aku bagi dia masa realize smua benda..
biar dia tenang berfikir..
aku terima apa jak dia maw...dan aku taw dia kuat..even dia ckp mati tanpa aku, aku taw dia can survive if tanpa aku..
aku kenal dia bkn sehari dua..
atleast dia ada kawan2, aku taw dia bole..
tp aku siyesly, fuck gila dgn smua kwn2nya..
aku xkan pernah terima kwn2nya lagi..
what ever happen, i still in love with her till i bury inside.
dia la satu2nya perempuan yg aku maw.
buat masa ni jg, aku perlukan masa utk realize semua benda..
tenangkan hati aku..
lari dari semua orang..
biar aku tenang kejap..
aku sgt bngung plus stress yg teramat sgt..
xpernah aku bngung pasal "PEREMPUAN" mcm apa yg aku rasa sekarang..
aku terlalu mahukan dia.

kawan~~
kawan cam biasa, smuanya ambik kisah pasal aku.
aku syg kawan2 aku, aku rindu kawan2 aku, aku maw dgn dorang smua.
tp aku xmaw membeban kan dorang dgn hal aku.
aku mmg xsuka pn cerita apa2 dgn dorang..
kecualila aku btl2 maw someone tahu.
what ever story it is..
love smua kwn2 aku.

apa lagi ah?
erm..
lama jg la aku xmengarut pa2 dlm blog aku ni..
BERHABOK.
dlm friends list blogger ku, aku tgok wan sorang yg rajin gila mengupdate..hahaha

aku rndu bob, nen, ima, wan, roro, bobo, abot, arip...
hurm~~~
B&B apa korang bagi aku mkn sampai aku syg ngan korang smua ni??lol...

ok la..
tek k smua..
panjang umur jmpa lagi..
love semua..

6.53pm.
bilikku..
~joop_travis~

refresh..

salam2..
wow..lama juga aku xupdate blog ni..
fuh fuh~~~behabuk~~

1st of all, sori lama xletak xstory dlm ni..
bkn apa, slain bz, aku jarang online..
so skrg, sll2 la singgah blog aku..[;p]

aku still praktikal d sandakan..
myb, dlm 1sebulan lagi, abis la..
tp byk lagi benda blom setel.
hatoi~

aku tegerak hati menconteng2 story pn sbb baru tebaca blog wan..
terhengat plk yg aku pn ada blog, yg sdh behabuk gila ni..
its 3-4 months ago last aku letak story mory..
hurm.

talk about life now,
ok la..cam besa..
tp banyak prob dari happy story la..
maw crita pn banyak gila..
maw taw, tnya aku direct la..

love??
erm no comment..

maybe someday i'll realize all those things.
its not now, its "someday"..
eventhough, i cant stand that day, but its "someday"...

aku rindu semenanjung and my besties d sana..
wait for me flying to u'll..

-joop_travis-

HARI TERAKHIR

salam n selamat pagi..

hari ni mungkin yg last tuk aku d tanah semenanjung ni..MUNGKIN!!
dan aku pasti ni bukan la last..
selama 3 tahun aku berada d sini, tolak cuti balik sabah, adalah dlm 2 tahun stgah..hurm...

semalam aku gathering ngan bestfriend2 aku, vanue umah wan hafiza, jam 9.30pm-1.30,pas 2 lepak umah arip di bukit serdang(tempat lepak Bear n Bearies)...

aku xtaw apa yg aku maw ckp skrng..
aku xtaw apa yg aku pikir..
aku masi xpaham apa yg aku buat..betul atau salah??
aku korbankan kawan2 tuk seseorang yg aku betul2 syg sampai mati..
dan aku harap sahabat hidup mati ku, akan faham apa yg aku cuba lakukan ni..


BOB, NEN, IMA, WAN, RORO, BOBO, KEROL, ARIP, MD, MEA, FAIZ, FARHAN, ABOT, ADAA, AND NADIA tuk semalam...sangat2 terharu n sedih..

aku syg korang n apa yg aku ckp mlm 2 aku sgt2 ikhlas n i meant it for sure..


kepada bob,
thanks for smua yg ko buat tuk aku,
thanks bawa aku masuk kroni ni,
thanks pengakap n OAT,
thanks atas smua pertolongan ko tuk aku,
thanks tuk smua masa ko tuk aku,
thanks tuk semuanya..

kepada nen,
thanks banyak tolong aku,
thanks syg aku,
thanks for OAT,
thanks sll ajak aku g mkn,
thanks tuk nasihat2 ko,
thanks masa ko tuk aku,
thanks tuk semua..

kepada ima,
thanks nasihat ko,
thanks syg aku,
thanks for OAT,
thanks pertolongan ko,
thanks masa ko tuk aku,
thanks semuanya...

kepada roro,
thanks nasa ko tuk aku,
thanks syg aku,
thanks for OAT,
thanks nasihat ko,
thanks bantuan2 ko,
thanks tuk semuanya...

kepada bobo,
thanks sbb suka suara aku,
thanks for OAT,
thanks tuk masa ko tuk aku,
thanks nasihat2 ko,
thanks tuk semua...

kepada wan,
thanks pecaya aku,
thanks for OAT,
thanks bantuan ko,
thanks nasihat2 ko,
thanks masa ko tuk aku,
thanks tuk semuanya..

kepada faiz,
thanks tolong aku banyak,
thanks for Pengakap,
thanks nasihat2 ko yg banyak,
thanks masa ko,
thanks tuk semua..

kepada farhan,
thanks tuk masakan ko yg sedap tu,
thanks nasihat2 ko,
thanks for pengakap,
thanks masa ko tuk aku,
thanks tuk semuanya..

kepada arip,
thanks tuk masa ko,
thanks for Xfm,
thanks bantuan2 ko,
thanks tuk umah ko,
thanks tuk semuanya...

kepada MD,
thanks jadi sahabat ku,
thanks for OAT n Pengakap,
thanks bantuan2 ko,
thanks tuk semuanya..

kepada mea,
thanks nasihat2 ko,
thanks masa ko,
thanks OAT,
thanks semuanya...

kepada kerol,
thanks music,
thanks masa ko,
thanks nasihat2 ko,
thanks tuk semua..

kepada semua, aku sgt2 syg korang, aku cinta korang smua dan aku maw hidup ngan kamu semua..
jaga diri baik2, jgn lost contact, jga mkn minum, jaga pakaian kamu smua,
dan jgn penah lupa aku sbb aku xkan pernah lupakan kamu smua..

sekali lagi, aku menyusun sepuluh jari, sekiranya ada terbuat salah,tekutuk yg menyakitkan hati, termakan brg2 korang, terpinjam, terpakai, terbuang, dan segala2 "TER2" harap ko rang maafkan, dan halalkan..

walaupn aku ckp malam tu aku paling syg bob, sampai sekarang aku rasa apa yg aku ckp tu ada menyinggung perasaan yg lain..
aku taw ada yg terasa..
aku mintak maaf banyak2..
aku syg kamu semua lebih dari aku syg kwn2 aku yg lain, lebih dari aku syg diri ku sendiri..
tu adalah maksud aku sebenar, n aku syg bob lebih sikit sebenarnya..
aku SAYANG semuanya lebih dari yg lain..i swear to God for this statement, its true..

banyak benda kita share sama, banyak pengalaman, kenangan yg mungkin aku xkan pernah ada lagi n dpt mcm 2 lagi..
semua ada dlm kepala otak aku dan hatiku yg tulus mulus ni..

pada mlm 2, sebenarnya aku banyak maw ckp, tp lidah jadi beku, dan aku sedih korang menangis tuk aku..sedih terharu..aku sgt2 sayang korang semua..

aku janji, lepas praktikal, aku kumpul duit n dtg sini balik tuk jmpa korang..
aku janji tuk itu..

*1 pesanan yg sgt2 mustahak, bila aku dtg sini, orang2 pertama yg aku maw jmpa adalah kamu semua..terutama Bear n Bearies and NO EXCUSES!!!
this is WARNING!!!

buat terakhir kalinya, kalaulah aku xpanjang umur, aku harap korang semua xkan pernah lupa aku sampai bila, JUPRI BIN ARSAT aka jup@joop, 860806496069..
dan aku akan ingat kamu semua sampai aku mati, sbb korang semua adalah sebahagian dari hidup aku..
kamu semua ada tpmt sendiri dlm hati aku sampai bila2..

skali lagi, aku mntak maaf dri hujung rambut ke hujung kaki jika pernah menyakiti atau terbuat salah ngan korang..
aku xsengaja..

last words,
im gonna miss all of u,
and i love all of u..
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

-jupri b. arsat-

caunting time..

for this all over the time,
im with fully myself, im too deep in sadness..
counting time is my only words to describe what im felt about.

on this cheerful morning,
i remain all the time since i've been here..
3 years ago, i came here with mission that i wanna run away from some things that i can explain about. i just try to run away from all those things.
yeah i got it..i happy here..

i got a lot of friends here, not a pathetic friend, but the true friends.
thanks to apid,buddy,dyana,bob,nen,ima,roro,wan,bobo,paiz,farhan,penan,abu,yassar,ajib,boy,
shimie,syam,jack,asri,yon,use,korea,ijat,tatap,som,blues,samsul,sab,lonely,angah and those i didnt write here..
and thanks to person were always be with me all the time..
thanks zeth..
thanks a lot and that is i just can say to all of u..
i love this relationship.


for this time, i wanna apologize what i've done to all of u, even its all out of my
mind..
i cant figure out how deep i love all of u, how much i miss all our time before, even i cant express to all of u all of this.

life changing, mess, standstill, and colorful and the most joyfullest all over the time. but im stand still here and wherever i've been next day after.


this is the last time im taking examination for my studies here..
16 days more for the last paper..
i cant think positively in this situation..
i never been this situation even more in my life i think..
but i really appreciated for all the days and times before..
all the memories always spinning in my heart..


im not talking nonsense, but i meant all my words..
im very sad in this moment. i just can think positively.
tomorrow is raya day.
im still here, finish all my day here before all this over and i just can let all this over by their own way.

this 30 dec, is my 1st exam this examination..

hurm, what else??
i just can promise that i'll be here for the next month after.
this is my promise.
i miss all of u.
i dont know what else to say, i just blank in this fucking situation..

thats all..
thanks again for all memories.

-joop_travis-

apa??

salam..

aku sangat binggung malam ni, eh pagi2 ni..
dari td lagi jiwa xtenteram..
banyak sgt benda yg aku pikir bt otak aku jadi bg2 lembab cam haram..


banyak benda aku taw mlm ni..
aku sgt sakit, sangat pedih, mcm apa jak aku rasa..
aku xbole pikir dgn tenang...
otak melalut2 cam biskut meri..

aku rndu dia..
aku maw dia..
aku xpernah berniat maw apa2 sblom2 ni selain aku maw mak aku sembuh tym dia sakit ari 2..
aku xpernah solat utk mntak sesuatu yg betul2 aku maw..
tp tuk ni, tuk idup ngan dia smpai aku mati, aku mntak tym aku solat..
bkn skali, tp tipa kali aku solat..
ni adalah benda yg aku betul2 maw..
1st tym masa mak aku 2 la..
aku xdpt..
and this is the second time aku mntak betul2..
aku sgt2 syg dia..
aku xmaw ilang dia skali lagi..
aku betul2 beniat maw ni semua...

tp, bnyak betul benda yg bt benda ni mcm aku xdpt maw realize..
sometimes aku suka cabaran..
aku suka kalah..
tp kali ni aku mcm sangat lemah maw hadapi..
mgkn aku pernah alami skali..

kadang2 aku give up..
tp smua aku pikir positive..
xkan aku maw mengalah sebab benda2 remeh.??
tp???
aku jg manusia..
simple human being..
aku bkn nabi, aku bukan malaikat, aku jg bkn syaitan,
aku hanyala sesimple2 manusia..
aku bole mgalah aku bole berundur bila2 masa sbb perasaan..
aku sangat sakit..

aku perlukan kawan,
tp time2 mcm ni mesti aku xda ngan dorang smua..
aku perlukan dia..
tp???

tipa malam, i wish all night long..
i felt like i couldnt see the sunlight again for tomorrow..
i wish i can die at night..
i wish i could stand this toughly.

i am weak, im loser, and im tired..
please help me..

knpa ssh maw hargai??
maw faham??
maw bertolak ansur??
kenapa maw menang??
kenapa maw ego??
kenapa maw begaduh??

mgkin sbb kita adalah manusia..
yg pnya ati dan perasaan..
sampai mcm skrg pn aku bole pikir positive lagi..
harap sampai nnt aku dpt betahan mcm gini..
please god..im begging u..
show me the right way for all this thing..
amin...



-joop_travis-