caunting time..

for this all over the time,
im with fully myself, im too deep in sadness..
counting time is my only words to describe what im felt about.

on this cheerful morning,
i remain all the time since i've been here..
3 years ago, i came here with mission that i wanna run away from some things that i can explain about. i just try to run away from all those things.
yeah i got it..i happy here..

i got a lot of friends here, not a pathetic friend, but the true friends.
thanks to apid,buddy,dyana,bob,nen,ima,roro,wan,bobo,paiz,farhan,penan,abu,yassar,ajib,boy,
shimie,syam,jack,asri,yon,use,korea,ijat,tatap,som,blues,samsul,sab,lonely,angah and those i didnt write here..
and thanks to person were always be with me all the time..
thanks zeth..
thanks a lot and that is i just can say to all of u..
i love this relationship.


for this time, i wanna apologize what i've done to all of u, even its all out of my
mind..
i cant figure out how deep i love all of u, how much i miss all our time before, even i cant express to all of u all of this.

life changing, mess, standstill, and colorful and the most joyfullest all over the time. but im stand still here and wherever i've been next day after.


this is the last time im taking examination for my studies here..
16 days more for the last paper..
i cant think positively in this situation..
i never been this situation even more in my life i think..
but i really appreciated for all the days and times before..
all the memories always spinning in my heart..


im not talking nonsense, but i meant all my words..
im very sad in this moment. i just can think positively.
tomorrow is raya day.
im still here, finish all my day here before all this over and i just can let all this over by their own way.

this 30 dec, is my 1st exam this examination..

hurm, what else??
i just can promise that i'll be here for the next month after.
this is my promise.
i miss all of u.
i dont know what else to say, i just blank in this fucking situation..

thats all..
thanks again for all memories.

-joop_travis-

apa??

salam..

aku sangat binggung malam ni, eh pagi2 ni..
dari td lagi jiwa xtenteram..
banyak sgt benda yg aku pikir bt otak aku jadi bg2 lembab cam haram..


banyak benda aku taw mlm ni..
aku sgt sakit, sangat pedih, mcm apa jak aku rasa..
aku xbole pikir dgn tenang...
otak melalut2 cam biskut meri..

aku rndu dia..
aku maw dia..
aku xpernah berniat maw apa2 sblom2 ni selain aku maw mak aku sembuh tym dia sakit ari 2..
aku xpernah solat utk mntak sesuatu yg betul2 aku maw..
tp tuk ni, tuk idup ngan dia smpai aku mati, aku mntak tym aku solat..
bkn skali, tp tipa kali aku solat..
ni adalah benda yg aku betul2 maw..
1st tym masa mak aku 2 la..
aku xdpt..
and this is the second time aku mntak betul2..
aku sgt2 syg dia..
aku xmaw ilang dia skali lagi..
aku betul2 beniat maw ni semua...

tp, bnyak betul benda yg bt benda ni mcm aku xdpt maw realize..
sometimes aku suka cabaran..
aku suka kalah..
tp kali ni aku mcm sangat lemah maw hadapi..
mgkn aku pernah alami skali..

kadang2 aku give up..
tp smua aku pikir positive..
xkan aku maw mengalah sebab benda2 remeh.??
tp???
aku jg manusia..
simple human being..
aku bkn nabi, aku bukan malaikat, aku jg bkn syaitan,
aku hanyala sesimple2 manusia..
aku bole mgalah aku bole berundur bila2 masa sbb perasaan..
aku sangat sakit..

aku perlukan kawan,
tp time2 mcm ni mesti aku xda ngan dorang smua..
aku perlukan dia..
tp???

tipa malam, i wish all night long..
i felt like i couldnt see the sunlight again for tomorrow..
i wish i can die at night..
i wish i could stand this toughly.

i am weak, im loser, and im tired..
please help me..

knpa ssh maw hargai??
maw faham??
maw bertolak ansur??
kenapa maw menang??
kenapa maw ego??
kenapa maw begaduh??

mgkin sbb kita adalah manusia..
yg pnya ati dan perasaan..
sampai mcm skrg pn aku bole pikir positive lagi..
harap sampai nnt aku dpt betahan mcm gini..
please god..im begging u..
show me the right way for all this thing..
amin...



-joop_travis-

life is wonderfull..

salam..
lama aku xupdate blog aku ni..
maw cita apa ya??

erm.
1st of all, congrate to bear n bearies yg da convo..
seryesly aku happy sgt n jeles pn ada gak la..
tp i truly happy for korang2..
may pas ni korang dpt keja yg bgs(bg yg blom keja) and yg da keja 2, keja bgs2..

erm.
apa lagi ya??
erm..
life skunk so so wonderful la..
aku ada zeth ofcoz la gf aku,
aku still ade bear n bearies, even kadang2 jarang dpt hang out ngn dorang..
tp aku sgt happy skrg..
1 thing yg aku mcm regret skit, sbb aku xda tym zeth konvo..
im suppose to be there..
ada la prob skit sbb aku xdpt dtg sana..
tp watsoever things pn, bia dia ckp dia ok if aku xda, tp aku ttp rasa bersalah yg amat sgt..

study pn maw2 abis sdh..
LI aku blom abis prepare..
asgmnt makin melambak2..
hidup masi tunggang langgang..
bajet idup makin bekurangan..
erm.
mcm2 masalah btol skunk..
tp simple matter la..

one more thing spinning in my head,
is who i want to be after graduate?
uwarghhh..
pening btol aku pikir 2.
mber2 lain da keja,
ada life sdri,
ada benda yg dorang msti pikir for hard..
aku??
still study..
2 yg biasa orang akan jwb jika aku tanya..

erm papa 2 hal pown,
aku still pening..
even aku xpenah ckp, xpenah crita n xpenah bagi nmpak,
tp aku btol2 risaw about my future life nnt..

aku rndu bear n bearies..
aku lagi rndu zeth..
hurm..

speechless aku if fikir pasal masalah..
aku sdh la lembab cam kura2 dlm crita dongeng "kura2 dan sang arnab"..
tp aku xkan menang..

aku takut betul..

to zeth;
i love u more then i exprez to u, i show to u..
b sgt2 happy syg uda grade, syg uda konvo, and myb akan futher study..
tp 1 thing i still cant think positively, if we should going this "far" sentence..
so damn worried bout this thingy.
tp, once u happy, i will try harder to give my heart and soul think more positive..
i will do whatever as long u happy..
i be by urside..till i cant breathing..
i swear and i meant it..
love u so much..
ok








thankfuly,
-joop travis-