About Me

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sandakan,, Sabah, Malaysia
life is getting harder and harder today and after. which is, only we know how pretending we are. be more mature to avoiding the shit given to your life being, shut the dramatic life, live your life fellas !

Friday, July 30, 2010


For the first time in being, i felt so empty..
night changing,i cant feel anything besides, just empty..im loosing my rhythm for eternity of life. Where all those thing is my question...so dont you ever ask me where i'm,who i'm and how i'm now coz me and myself cant find it through this way too.

the best part of me is, there is still strong soul to face it, to face this things along my way..
maybe someday i can find it. but when? its my question.
How far more i can walk through this way? i dont know..


emptiness...its emptiness..

Its like night without stars.
Its like bird without wing.
Its like human without brain.

how its been stand inside me?i also dont ever know it..
believe me, some over days, i might be jump across the river to catch up my life back..
joy, pride, myself and all my own i ever lose along this way.
It must be over there.

today like im loosing something that i used to hug, to kiss, to smile about, to think about and to sleep with and to life for..
Its gone..maybe just for a while, but its hard to explain how it meant to me and my life..

its gone, its empty, it hard and its make me sick..


i hope i can get it back and keep it deep inside my own..
i believe in GOD!!!

-joop(just joop)-

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

broken !

In the moonlight
Your face it glows
Like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
And your hair flows like
The ocean breeze
Not a million fights
Could make me hate you
You're invincible
Yeah, It's true
It's in your eyes
Where I find peace

Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
Let's light up the town, scream out loud!
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
I can see in your eyes
You're ready to break
Don't look away.

So here we are now
In a place where
The sun blended
With the ocean thin.
So thin, we stand
Across from each other
Together we'll wonder
If we will last these days
If I asked you to stay
Would you tell me
You would be mine?

And time
Is all I ask for
I just need one more day
And time
You've been crying too long
And your tears wrote this song

In the moonlight
Your face it glows

Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
Let's light up the town, scream out loud!
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
I can see in your eyes
You're ready to break
Don't look away.

just walk away !

I dream a lot, I know you say
I've got to get away
"The world is not yours for the taking"
Is all you ever say
I know I'm not the best for you
But promise that you'll stay
Cause if I watch you go
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same
These streets are filled with memories
Both perfect and in pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I'm the only one to blame

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life

But what do I know, if you're leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding
But these scars will stay forever
These scars will stay forever
And these words they have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember

Stay with me
Or watch me bleed
I need you just to breathe

Cause today, you walked out of my life
(Stay with me, or watch me bleed)
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
(I need you just to breathe)
I'm not living this life

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

im just a wall !


this is the perfect words i can describe who im now..
wall..just a wall..

im a wall..jump away from me..
get a ladder, climb over me..
shit !!
this is so shit !!

im sick for give up words!
just let it be..FUCK OFF !
for now and ever this is i will never look back..
that things makes me down, so upset with that things..
no matter if those thing wa a joke, i cant accept it..so suck..
no sorry words from you..just give up..
im silent, u keep on silent..
im talking too much, you trying to go away..
going with "jgn membebel"..

Its been explained, but still happened.
im sick with that..

i am just a wall..
jump, climb, crush, get a ladder and whatever thing that makes u going behind me..
but dont give the world fucking give up words.
Its makes me more and more going down..
believe me..
if its your way of loving me, thank you so much..
if you say tired to say sorry, excessive, or whatever, im so tired more then everything to give my all for this relationship..
so sick..
just loving you makes me long last.
Believe me, im so sick now..
im a sick wall.

motherfucker stupid mr. right dedicate to ms. perfect!

Sunday, July 25, 2010


Today and after is the criminal scene to my life..
Its simple, but going to be unfaithful lessons to learn about..

Why must those thing happened?
Why sad stories remains me to be die?
Why mess life teach us to be lay down under?

simple words, this is sin, this is what God want us to face the reality of life..
No matter if all those is fuckin' unrealistic, sarcastic, politicism, unthinkingable, unbelievable, and damn others "un-un", we should take it, face it and eat it..
This is life..
If u seek the colorful meaningful life, find it under your bed it might be there..!!

Dont run, dont chase, dont look at all and dont sing at all..
follow where rhe freeze flowing, foolow the rhythm of music in your heart..
believe me, you will see the meaningful life through your perfect eyes.

In this situation, im too close to be unforgiven..Its hard, its hurting me, its sucks..DAMN sucks!

Every single day is the messy day i ever had.."Lesson", is to be unrealistic word..
"PAIN" is too be perfect sentence. yeah....it perfect day.

I dont wanna sing, i dont wanna talk, i dont wanna walk, i dont wanna chase, i dont wanna think and i dont wanna know the next day after...
i want to be freeze this meaning time, when typing all this words..its the best of my messy day. This is a long journey, eyes close and the next open eyes, i've be a grandfather(im smiling when im typing this)!!so xial!! LOL

thankfully me!